Crazy Horses was the only song of the Osmonds that I ever liked and I think that their wholesome songs and music sent me directly into the nihilistic world of Punk much sooner than I might have done if I had stuck to David Cassidy and Judy Collins.
MGM Records [Public domain]
If it was a choice between Puppy Love and Anarchy in the UK, then I know where I would stand. But then again, I like French Rap and Hip Hop which is not seen cool when one is middle aged.
Yet on looking back on the Osmonds, there is something very clean about them and because of it they, in different shapes, have floated through the decades without fuss. Indeed, Donny and Marie have just finished an eleven year stint in Vegas which is longer than Elvis and Celine combined.
They show up on American chat shows and no matter how they are teased (or worse), they remain the same people, which is nice. This said, I would rather go to see Susan Boyle than attend an Osmonds show. As with Ed Sheeran today, their music just irritates my ears.
I first met my lovely wife in late 1976 (I stole her Kit Kat when she was not looking) and we got together soon after. It was then that I found out that she was a huge Osmonds fan and liked Donny in particular. We agreed to differ as we do on most things and that is why I think we have been together for such a long time.
I loved my French stuff and Caron liked her 70s retro music and we drew an invisible border between Terry Jacks and H Magnum and others. And then I made a big mistake whilst waiting in Tesco’s a few weeks ago.
The Tesco’s in Hungerford, as with a lot of supermarkets, has a charity bookcase and interesting books such as first editions can be found.
But, on that fateful day, I did not find a first edition but a copy of the Osmonds World annual dating from 1977. It was full of the usual confectionary from Marie’s Agony Aunt column to Mother Osmonds recipes (yuk). There were zillions of photographs of the boys and Marie and after skimming through it, I felt that I needed a stiff drink.
I casually gave it to Caron over the carrots and cucumbers and to my surprise, it was as if I had given her a diamond ring or had offered to wash up or hoover.
She was so pleased with this retro gift and believe it or not, I found a Donny retro keyring on the Isle of Wight a couple of weeks later which added considerably to my Brownie Points.
This simple annual had taken her back to the seemingly more innocent days of the 1970s and although I had purchased it as a joke, it was gratefully received.
But what of these annuals you may ask?
Can I get them in the Arcade? Well the answer is yes and although I have not seen any Osmonds annuals, I frequently see annuals from the 1970s/1980s for sale at reasonable prices.
The Man from Uncle and The Girl from Uncle (both 1960s) were there when I last looked and you frequently see Top of the Pops annuals and other tie ins.
ABC Television [Public domain]
Obviously, the annuals of comics (Beano, Dandy, Eagle) are easy to find and I even found an annual tie in of the TV series Daktari which featured Clarence the Cross Eyed Lion.
There are football annuals and the occasional annual for the little ones (Pinky and Perky, The Magic Roundabout) as well as Thunderbirds and Joe 90 and my beloved Captain Scarlet. If you look, there are many annuals to be found given time and luck.
As with anything, some older annuals can be quite rare and prices (as with comics and superhero comics) can reflect this but most will only set you back a couple of quid.
I have the odd football annual from the 1980s which I occasionally read (these were normally presents from dottie aunts who thought you had a thing for Gary Lineker) and I have not really got around to giving them to my grandchildren to eat.
Fast forward thirty or so years and you would have found me in WH Smith in Hungerford looking for presents. And guess what I found? Annuals and more annuals, although my joy was halted when I found that the dreaded Gary was on the Match of the Day annual.
I quickly purchased a couple of million In the Night Garden annuals and made a quick escape (and yes I did keep one for myself as I do not tire of the show or its haunting maritime ending – am I the only one who sees Coleridge’s poem in it?)
Caron is still reading her Osmonds annual and occasionally chats about her pre me years when she would listen to Puppy Love and other songs whilst looking at her collection of teddy bears sitting on the arm of her bedroom chair.
I had not planned to do it, (I would have fouled it up if I had) but this simple purchase brought much happiness.
Thank You Donny and all the others
You still bring happiness to many people (except me).
Stuart Miller-Osborne
